About Me
This is the story of Natasja. Thirty-something writer. Bisexual. Lipstick lover. Holder of multiple diplomas, I’m a curious woman, seeking to understand the world around me and within. I’m passionate about nerdy things that I can talk about for hours. And… I’m a little lost. A lot lost.
All my life I’ve been defined by hyphens. Surinamese-Hindustani. Indo-Caribbean. South-Asian. Dutch-but where are you really from? You know the drill. You’re not quite this, and you’re never quite that. Yet still looking to belong somewhere.
The Little Mermaid was one of the Disney movies I deeply related to as a child, because Ariel swam in the waters… but she really wanted to walk on land. Speaking of projecting, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my all-time favorite tv-show (is my age showing?). She just wanted to be a normal girl, she didn’t want to be forced into a life that wasn’t her own.
There’s a recurring theme in the story of me: Stuck between cultures, and stuck between my own needs and that of others. During my teens I thought I would’ve figured everything out as an adult, but here I am—in my thirties, still struggling, still holding myself back.
“What will people think?”
Hyphens aren’t the only thing that have defined me. I’ve let others define me. My mother. My father. The family. Loved ones. Strangers. I’ve put their needs above my own.
Somewhere in my twenties I lost myself, and most of that decade has been given to depression. I did what I thought was necessary to be accepted, to be loved, to be successful whilst barely hanging on. I don’t want that anymore. I have to find a way to live for me. I have to take back my power.
Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Honestly, I’ve no freaking clue. But I’m working hard on figuring that out… for me. Not others. It’s time to change the narrative. It’s time to be brave, to be seen, to be really me. Whoever that is.
That’s where Unearth my Roots comes in. A worded manifestation of my journey. I’ll be writing for me, but I’m also writing for you. I know I’m not alone, and I hope that with my posts and through my stories you’ll feel less alone too.