April 2021. It’s been over a year since we’ve been dealing with COVID-19. Life was hard enough before we had a worldwide pandemic on our hands. But for over a year, it’s been even more limiting with social distancing and curbed interactions, partial to full lockdowns, and even curfews. Today our world is different.
It’s only normal that there are psychological consequences. Throughout the year, I’ve noticed a lot of my friends dealing with anxiety and fatigue. The media is full of horrible and disappointing news. Getting through the winter was especially hard this year. Then there are external stressors like work, school, and personal relationships—all these facets of life are all burdened by the strain of COVID-19.
It’s pretty tough right now, so I think you deserve to cut yourself some slack.
If you haven’t yet, now’s the time. Be kind to yourself. With this blog post, I want to offer you five different ways to reduce your stress, deal with anxiety, and give yourself some breathing space. It really sucks that things are no longer the way it was before, and it’s also ok if everything isn’t functioning the way you’d like it to, because our world today is different.
So, then, what can you do? A lot!
1. Take a break
Sounds easy right? But it’s implementing a boundary, whether that’s aimed at yourself or someone else, and that requires conscious effort and lots of practice. Take inventory of your life—how are you feeling, why are you feeling that way, what is it connected to? Found the stressor? Try to take a break from it. The stressor can be personal, professional, educational, social, online, mental, physical, etc. There are so many aspects of our life that can affect us, and it’s ok to take a break from any of them, no matter what lessons society has taught you.
Tired of constantly looking at your screen? Take a phone/technology/social media break. You decide the rules. 1 day without. 1 week without. 2 hours per day/week limit. You don’t need to produce/perform/be present for anyone.
Overwhelmed by the many wonderful people in your life who want to socialize? Communicate your needs and take a break. You’ll have more of yourself to give to others after you’ve given what you need to yourself first.
Burned out by the stress of work? Discuss your situation with your supervisor and see what can be done. In the meantime, maintain strict working hours. Don’t work after your time is up. Keep the personal and professional separate.
Clearly, taking a break isn’t as easy as it sounds. I’m very aware of that too. But if that’s something your body and mind are communicating to you, then at least listen. That’s the first step.
2. Break it down
Overwhelmed by work, school, or a project? You’ve got so much on your plate, and you don’t know where to start? Need something to be perfect, but everything you come up with in your mind tells you it’s the opposite? Thrive off a bit of pressure, but now it’s too much pressure?
Yeah, those things are really rough. And starting is often the hardest part, especially if there are a million things that need to be done, but you’re not doing any of them. That’s a cycle, one that prevents you from taking necessary actions and keeps you trapped in feelings of shame and guilt.
Instead of looking at the bigger picture, try to focus on how you can break down your project into small tasks. What is it that you can do right now? Pick that one thing, and concentrate on that. All the other stuff unfortunately won’t happen just because you can’t stop worrying about it (or try not to think about it as a result). That’s anxiety at work. So what if you’re not working hard or fast or whatever enough? So what if you’re not this or that? Is that a fair and honest assessment of the reality you’re living in, or is it an unrealistic and unkind narrative that your brain is feeding you?
You’re trying. You’re reading this article because you want solutions. You’re doing your best. It’s enough. You are enough.
The small steps matter. You are in control of what you can do right now—so, what is that?
3. Invest in self-care
You can’t be on all the time. I know we live in a capitalist world that expects you to, especially with the rise of social media, but that’s bullshit. You’re a human being, and you need to rest. So, do things that calm you down, that center you, or that bring you happiness.
There’s a difference between active and passive relaxation, and you absolutely need both (at least I do!). Though I have the hardest time with active relaxation. Ironically, it’s so much work. But it’s exactly the kind of work that will make you feel better (since active relaxation counters the stressors your nervous system has to deal with on a daily basis). You’ll be helping your body and mind fight off the stress. You’re basically a warrior. That’s pretty epic. Here are a few examples of active relaxation:
Go for a walk in nature
Work out (yoga, boxing, etc.)
Meditate or regulate your breathing
Sing along loudly (!) to your favorite songs
Have a dance party for one
However, if you find that your energy is so low that you can’t commit to active relaxation, then forgive yourself. It’s ok. It’s more important to listen to what your body and mind are communicating to you and respecting that. So if that’s fatigue or low energy, respect that too. You can absolutely enjoy passive relaxation. I do that all the time. A good balance between active and passive forms of relaxation helps me from feeling too overwhelmed by internal and external stressors. I just have to be mindful of my needs (therapeutic writing helps with that). Here are some examples of passive relaxation:
Snuggle a pet
Paint your nails
Water your plants
Watch your favorite TV-show
Take a hot shower or bath
4. Reframe the message
By using positive affirmations you can go against the messages your brain is sharing with you. Tell yourself that you deserve time and rest to recharge, that saying no helps you show up for yourself and protects your energy (which is precious, since you’ve so little of it), that you are allowed to manage your stress through relaxation, that you are in control of your emotions and that they are not in control of you. Repeat these out loud and to yourself:
“I deserve time to rest and recharge.”
“When I say no, I am showing up for myself and protecting my energy.”
“My needs matter too.”
“I am allowed to manage my stress through relaxation.”
“I am in control of my emotions, even when they feel overwhelming.”
5. Therapeutic Writing
Instead of going against the messages in your head, you can hold space for those voices, knowing they don’t define or control you! Affirmations can help you in the moment when you’re aware of distorted thoughts. But by using therapeutic writing you can take charge of the narrative in your head, acknowledge the incorrect messages and unkind voices, understand where they might come from, and reframe them to what you actually need.
Therapeutic writing is a powerful tool to understand your needs, allow self-compassion, and give yourself more breathing space. Through continued practice, you’ll feel calmer and more in control.
Try the quiz to find out which therapeutic writing style might fit you best, with free writing prompts at the end! Or join the therapeutic writing workshop if you’re ready to take the next step in your personal journey of empowerment. Also available in Dutch.